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Your New Year’s Revolution…

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Are you ready for your New Year’s revolution?

No, that’s not a typo. We make resolutions, wanting to achieve revolutions.

We resolve to go to the gym, or to stop smoking, or to walk more, or to eat better…wanting a revolution in our health.

We resolve to work less on nights and weekends, or to spend more time with our families, or to find a new job with better hours, wanting a revolution in our work-life balance.

We resolve to be more selective about who we date, or to stop cheating on our partner, or to be more attentive at home, wanting a revolution in our love life.

62% of Americans make New Year’s resolutions.

8% of them are successful in achieving their goals.

We make resolutions, wanting revolutions.

Resolutions are about actions, things we will start doing, stop doing, or do differently. But if those changes in your actions are intended to produce significant shifts in your life, it is likely that you will be among the 92% who do not succeed with your revolution. [Read more…]

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Lessons on Change from the Presidential Election

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american-flag-1459201553ppeFor the past week it has been impossible to turn on the television, to pick up a newspaper, or to visit social media without encountering another response to the election of Donald Trump as the next President of the United States. There are many voices raised in protest. And there are many analyses as to how this happened. What I have not seen is an analysis that looks at the election and its outcome through the lens of change, so that is what I am offering here. How is what we know about the psychology of change reflected in the election? What lessons does that teach–or re-teach–us?

Lesson 1: All Change is Personal

Donald Trump’s election is expected to result in societal change across the country, and perhaps around the world. [Read more…]

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Avoiding!

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8192534_lThe human mind is amazing. So much goes on inside our brains that we are never conscious of. One of the things that I see over and over again with my clients who are engaged with major change is avoidance. Sometimes it is intentional, but often they are unaware that it is even happening.

It may be an old tape that is playing. Or a relationship that needs to be addressed…but is way too uncomfortable to tackle. Perhaps it is “the one thing I really hate to do.” At work it may be a commitment issue with a key player. At home, maybe it is anchors that need to be cut loose. But in every case, the avoidance becomes a form of self-sabotage. After all, if you didn’t need to address it to move forward, you would be ignoring it, rather than avoiding it. There is a difference.

What are you avoiding?

This is a difficult, and often painful, question. Yet it is a critical one to hear, to answer, and to address if you are undertaking a major change. [Read more…]

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Time Management and Change 101

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istock_000013371056mediumIn the past I have written about the need to make the time required for your change. In particular, I focused on “Stop,” the importance of identifying what you are going to discontinue doing in order to have the time, energy, etc. needed to “start” your change. Today I am presenting a few techniques for increasing your productivity through time management.

I am currently enrolled in Ryan Eliason’s Visionary Business School; this blog is drawn from our time management training, and includes both techniques that were refreshers for me, and ones that were new. Hopefully there are tips here that will help you improve your productivity, and free up time to invest in the changes you are making in your life.

The First Big Questions

Each of us has our own “tricks” for keeping track of what we need to do. Sticky notes; white boarding; to-do lists; Kanban; index cards; file folders; stacks of paper…the options are endless. As we finish each task, we throw out the sticky; erase the white board item; check or cross off the list; move the task along the flow; file the paper; etc. What most of us fail to do, unless we are using an actual project management system, is to ask one simple yet critical question. [Read more…]

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Fear of Failure…Fear of Success

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Communicating peopleLast week I posted on the danger of limiting beliefs. These frequently take the form of fear of failure…the reasons that we believe we will not be successful. The truth is, we can also set ourselves up for failure by a fear of success.

I have had many clients who face this challenge. Here are just a few of the ways that it has been voiced.

  • I would grow my business, but I don’t want the headaches that additional employees would bring.
  • I know that I could make a lot more money, but I don’t like what has happened to my friends who have achieved that goal; they’re just not nice people any more.
  • I would apply for my manager’s job when she retires, but I know the crazy hours she worked, and I don’t want that for myself.

The first question I always ask is, How do you define success? If you define it as a larger business with problem employees, that is what you will achieve…if you move forward. If success is making a lot of money, and becoming the type of wealthy person that you detest, that is what you will become…if you move forward. If it is getting a promotion and working untold hours as a result, that is what you will do…if you move forward. [Read more…]

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I Would Do It, But…

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istock_000005414141smal-posterlYou would do it, but… But what?

I’m not sure I know anyone who hasn’t started a statement this way more than once. I certainly have. I hear some form of it from virtually every coaching client, every mentoring client, every consulting client that I work with. I hear it from family, and from friends.

I would do it, but…

Sometimes the “but” has true legitimacy.

  • I would go to medical school, but I’m 58 now and really want to retire at 65.
  • I would move to Argentina, but I have found out that my credentials (on which I depend for my living) are not recognized there.
  • I would buy my apartment in a heartbeat, but it is in a rental building and not for sale.

 

More often than not, however, the “but” is legitimate in the mind of the speaker…and it has no factual basis.

  • I would apply for the job, but why waste my time when I’m not good enough to get it?
  • I would move in with Pete, but what happens if it doesn’t work out?
  • I would start my own business, but I’ve never run a business before. What if I fail?

It’s true. You might not get the job; things might not work out with Pete; your business might fail. And, if you apply with the belief that you are not good enough, if you move in with Pete believing the relationship might not work out, if you start your own business with your eye on failure…chances are good that failure is on the horizon.

Almost all of us develop limiting beliefs along the way. They define our world, and how we relate to it. [Read more…]

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