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Cultivating Presence: The Heart

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balance between heart and mind

Your heart just isn’t in it.

Have you ever heard those words in a performance review? Whether or not they have shown up there, it is likely they have shown up in other areas of your life. Perhaps you thought them to yourself…about yourself or your partner in a relationship. Maybe it was a reflection on yet another too draining and totally unrewarding week at work. Or, you might be thinking it as you leave early Monday morning for the weekly business trip away from the family.

Your heart isn’t in it.

I can tell when a client’s heart isn’t in it. Rarely do they have to tell me. The low energy, the tonality in which they speak, the lack of vibrancy of their words all say, My heart isn’t in it.

Whether in our professional or our personal lives, heart shows up–or doesn’t–in many ways. [Read more…]

Cultivating Presence: The Body

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dynamic balance 3Imagine Michael Phelps in Rio for the summer Olympic games. He’s in the pool, competing for another gold medal, all the time thinking about what he wants for dinner. The thought of it puts a smile on my face, because I know how unreal that image is. Not only is Michael Phelps mentally present when he is in the pool (as well as when he is preparing to get into the water). He is physically present. He is attuned to every movement of his body, every breath, how his body contacts the water that surrounds him.

Yet we tend to be more like that imaginary Michael Phelps than the real one as we face the challenges of change (or even as we go through our day-to-day lives). In last week’s post I discussed the importance of mental presence, and provided sample practices to help cultivate it. This week, I turn my attention to body presence. [Read more…]

Cultivating Presence: The Mind

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Brain Tree blueIn my last post I discussed the importance of being present with yourself during change. There are three elements of the self for which such presence is important: the mind, the body, and the heart. This week I will focus on mental presence; I will cover the others in the coming two weeks.

We all know that mental presence is important. And, almost without exception, we have each in our own ways tried to cultivate it at some time or another. Perhaps it was meditation. It may have been daily reminders, or periodic alerts on our computer/tablet/smart phone. Journaling is a mindfulness practice for some. Then there are the times when we end up “in the zone;” time—and the world—disappear as we focus fully, presently, on a particular person or activity. For me, this most often occurs when I am either writing or photographing.

And, we all know how easy it is to lose that presence of mind. The project that is running behind schedule; making sure the kids have the clothing they need for this weekend’s event; the disagreement with our best friend. The future and the past often seem to want to control our minds, leaving no room for being present with ourselves or anyone else.

Yet, there are people who always seem to be present. When you are “in their presence,” you know you are in their presence—there is no other world for them outside the space the two of you occupy. But as much as I wish to be that person, and I am still working on it, that is not always me. Nor, most likely, is it you. If you are like me, we learned long ago how to be “not present.” Learning to be present takes lessons, and practice. [Read more…]

How Often Are You Present With Yourself?

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Double portrait of a businessman facing himself

At its core, change is about letting go of old ways of thinking and doing in order to replace them with new ways of thinking and doing. Those old ways are our habits…they are triggered, and our bodies, our minds, perhaps our hearts and/or our mouths, respond in ways that are quite literally neurologically programmed in us.

If we want to disrupt the pattern we need to be conscious of the trigger, and then intentionally intervene before the response kicks in. This requires us to be present at the moment the trigger is fired. Yet how often are we present with ourselves?

How often are you present with yourself?

When I ask my clients this, I often get responses like, “I’m always with me, except when I am asleep,” or “My brain is always going…working, reading, daydreaming.” Sometimes I hear “I talk to myself all the time, planning what I want to do next, or telling myself what I just did wrong.” And, every once in awhile it is, “Why would I want to be present with myself? I’m so (boring, lazy, stupid…).”

While each of these responses speaks to some form of mind-body connection (or lack thereof), none of them speaks to presence. As I am using the term here, the core characteristics of presence with oneself include self-awareness in the moment (self-observation) and non-judgment. Let’s look at each of these characteristics briefly, and discuss why they are so critical to change. [Read more…]

The Resilience Advantage (Part 2)

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iStock_000004893516SmallIn my first post I described what resilience is and why it’s important. In this post I will focus on how organizations can use this information to be more successful during change.

Energy and Change

Human energy is the currency of change. For an organization to successfully realize the full benefits of change initiatives, people throughout the organization need to shift mindsets and behaviors to operate in new ways. Depending on the nature of the challenge, they spend some combination of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy to make these shifts. When this energy is depleted, people take longer to adapt to change and have a harder time responding in a resilient fashion.

Physical energy is used when people work long hours, exert their bodies to accomplish tasks, or do things that are physically uncomfortable.

Mental energy is used when people learn new skills, solve complex problems, or produce results that require high levels of analysis and focus.

Emotional energy is used when people deal with their own anger, sadness, or loss; it is also used when supporting others who are going through challenges.

Spiritual energy is used when people feel disconnected from a sense of meaning or purpose, or when they feel that their efforts are not valued or are ineffective in achieving important goals.

These forms of energy are interconnected—when one type of energy is expended, it affects the others as well. Although energy can be replenished over time, people have a finite supply that is used for all the changes they are facing, both inside and outside of the organization. [Read more…]

The Resilience Advantage

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l-hoopes-bioResilience is the ability to adapt to high levels of disruptive change while maintaining high levels of well-being and productivity. It is the result of applying a set of change muscles that help you use your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy most effectively when you encounter challenges. Understanding what resilience is and how it works is a very helpful tool for change leaders, change agents, and anyone going through change. (Hmmm…that might be everybody!)

Challenges

Let’s start by looking at the nature of the challenges we face inside and outside of the workplace. [Read more…]