For other resources to help guide you through the change journey, or for a brief bio of Brian Gorman, TransformingLives.Coach, scroll down below the lessons posted here.
Lesson 10. Every Change is Different. All Change is the Same.
We tend to approach every change as different, and with good reason. But the truth is, all change is also the same. In this lesson I explain both perspectives. By being able to apply “both/and” during your change efforts you significantly increase the likelihood of success while helping to mitigate the challenges you will be facing.
Every Change is Different. All Change is the Same. (audio)
Lesson 9: 2+1+5 Reasons Changes Fail.
There are thousands of things that can undermine the success of a change. In this lesson I share several often overlooked reasons that changes fail.
2+1+5 Reasons Changes Fail. (audio)
Lesson 8: Be of Service. Don’t Be Servile.
Being of service comes naturally to most people, but all to often we end up being servile instead. In this lesson I explore the difference, and the cost to all parties in the relationship. I then offer some insights as to how you might move from servitude to service.
Be of Service. Don’t Be Servile. (audio)
Lesson 7: Influence Matters.
There is only one person whose thoughts and behavior you can directly control, and that is you. For everyone else, it is important that you be able to exercise influence if you want their support in achieving your goals. In this video I describe different types of influence, and introduce a model for exercising it at the personal, as well as organizational, levels.
Influence Matters (audio)
Lesson 6: Trust. Be Trusted.
Neuroscience teaches us that trust and distrust are located in different regions in the brain. In this lesson I explain how triggering distrust can impede the success of any change, large or small. I then introduce Judith E. Glaser’s model for building trust. Judith is the author of Conversational Intelligence: How Great Leaders Build Trust and Get Extraordinary Results.
(11/21/18) I studied conversational intelligence with Judith in 2017-2018. Though I only spent one weekend program with her in person, Judith will always be one of my mentors and heroes. Her work on neuroscience and communication not only reinforced much of what I had intuitively learned over the years; it added greatly to my knowledge and understanding, and has inspired me to continue to learn from neuroscience so that I am able to better serve and support my clients. Because of my great respect for her, I had an email exchange with her as I was developing this lesson; I shared both my deck and my key talking points. On November 12 she emailed me, “Great Job! The only thing missing is a ® on the first instance of Conversational Intelligence®. Tell me how the session goes! Judith.” Six days later, on November 18, Judith lost her battle with cancer. I was unable to share this recording with her.
As I have been thinking about this news since hearing it yesterday, what comes to mind is a quote from Zalman Schachter-Shalomi on the recording Graceful Passages. “When you make your transition you will be asked two things…How much love you have been able to give and receive, and how much service you have rendered… You will see how a nice act of kindness has touched hundreds of lives that you are totally unaware of.” Judith approached her teaching from a place of service, with love. She was always excited to bring us the latest things she had learned as gifts for our growth. Through her love, her service, her acts of kindness Judith has touched hundreds of thousands, if not millions of lives, helping us to learn, to teach, and to live as more effective communicators and co-creators of a better world. This lesson is dedicated to you, Judith E. Glaser. I am humbled and honored to be able to share your lessons with others through my work.
Trust. Be Trusted. (audio)
Lesson 5: Answers and Questions
For some (e.g. parents, consultants, teachers, “subject matter experts”) answers are expected to be the primary tool in their tool kits. For others (e.g. coaches, therapists), it is questions. In fact, there are times when you should be offering answers, no matter your role, and other times that you should be offering questions. In this lesson I talk about when answers are the better response, and when to provide questions. I also offer guidance on how to frame your questions so that they are the most effective.
Answers and Questions (audio)
Lesson 4: Tell Stories
Stories are not only a powerful way of communicating; they can play a critical role in change at any level. In this, one of the ten most important lessons I have learned during fifty years of engaging with change, I describe why stories have such power; how to create the change story; and how to use the power it offers.
Tell Stories (audio)
What’s the Story: This article was published in, and is reprinted with the permission of, choice, the magazine of professional coaching; it appeared Fall 2018 (V 16, N 3).
Words Matter: This Facebook Live video, recorded on August 18, 2017, offers more insights into the neuroscience of words and why they have such power.
Lesson 3: Listen to Your Three Brains.
Neuroscience tells us we actually do have three brains: head, heart, and gut. What is their relationship? How do you listen to all three, and how do you apply all three during change?
Listen to Your Three Brains (Audio)
Lesson 2: Yes. Change is Hard.
What makes change so hard? What can you do to make it easier? The answers to these questions–along with some counter-intuitive approaches to change–are shared here.
Yes, Change is Hard. (audio)
Lesson 1: All Change is Personal.
It sounds so self-evident, yet all too often it is not how we approach change.
All Change is Personal (audio)
Other Change Resources
The Universal Change Journey: This brief eBook provides an overview of the five phases of every successful change journey.
TransformingLives.Coach Blog: There are more than 120 posts in the blog addressing various aspects of the change journey. These are indexed in the sidebar to the five phases of the Universal Change Journey.
TransformingLives.Coach Change Videos: These short (1-8 minute) videos provide numerous lessons on successfully navigating change.
What’s the Story?: This article, published in and reproduced with permission of choice, the magazine of professional coaching, describes the role of story and our three brains when facing change.
Prosilience – Building Your Personal Resilience: In this webinar, author and colleague Dr. Linda Hoopes, discusses her recent work on resilience—Prosilience (Proactive + Resilience)—and how you can learn to succeed by applying the four building blocks of resilience. Discover how to use everyday events to strengthen your resilience for life’s tough challenges.
A Brief Bio
in this recording I introduce myself, how I initially became engaged in the art and science of change, my experience with change over the years, and why I am offering these lessons now.