You would do it, but… But what?
I’m not sure I know anyone who hasn’t started a statement this way more than once. I certainly have. I hear some form of it from virtually every coaching client, every mentoring client, every consulting client that I work with. I hear it from family, and from friends.
I would do it, but…
Sometimes the “but” has true legitimacy.
- I would go to medical school, but I’m 58 now and really want to retire at 65.
- I would move to Argentina, but I have found out that my credentials (on which I depend for my living) are not recognized there.
- I would buy my apartment in a heartbeat, but it is in a rental building and not for sale.
More often than not, however, the “but” is legitimate in the mind of the speaker…and it has no factual basis.
- I would apply for the job, but why waste my time when I’m not good enough to get it?
- I would move in with Pete, but what happens if it doesn’t work out?
- I would start my own business, but I’ve never run a business before. What if I fail?
It’s true. You might not get the job; things might not work out with Pete; your business might fail. And, if you apply with the belief that you are not good enough, if you move in with Pete believing the relationship might not work out, if you start your own business with your eye on failure…chances are good that failure is on the horizon.
Almost all of us develop limiting beliefs along the way. They define our world, and how we relate to it. [Read more…]